Unbraiding the Roots

The dissolution of a nearly 130-year-old family business is more complicated than one might think. In fact, being a member of a family that is deeply ensconced in a business is its own complicated and multi-layered situation, and something that only those in similar circumstances can understand fully. I am brought to this place in light of the selling of The Republican newspaper, which transpired just a little over two years ago. I have only arrived at certain realizations because those two years have passed, and I needed time to digest the sale and its repercussions. I understand now that I am just beginning to work through it with some clarity and, thankfully, less emotion. Not that I am not constantly fighting the battle with wistfulness. And I expect to do that for a while yet. But I’m much better. I’m healing. I think other members of my family are as well, even as we struggle some with the excising of a lifelong component of our identity.

A few weeks ago, my husband John and I traveled to Lancaster, Pa., and set up a booth at the annual Lancaster Printers’ Fair. According to Val Lucas, a professor of printmaking at Towson University (who has been an invaluable guide in all this), we should have been swarmed by printers for all we had to offer them. Well, the swarm was fairly small, really, and we didn’t sell a great deal. However, the entire experience rattled us farther along on the old roller-coaster of life for sure, with some fascinating discussions with random folks, and a surprising unity with people for whom printing is familiar and meaningful. For those interconnections made, I am grateful and edified.

For a while now I have been digging out long-forgotten sets of letters and numbers of varying fonts and point-sizes. Some of them have not been in the light of day for possibly 50 or even 75 years. Maybe longer. There is definitely something satisfying about dragging them out, wiping them off, and considering that perhaps the last hands to touch them were my dad’s or my grandfather’s or my great-grandfather’s, or perhaps my great-uncle George Hanst’s, who was the editor for nearly 40 years. Any of those guys. To them, these things were just tools of the job. They didn’t look at them and feel nostalgic, I don’t think. They rooted through them and picked out what they needed to spell out a sentence or design an ad. And then they carried on with it. Now I sit in that office entirely alone, looking at all that stuff. In my mind, reason battles with emotion until I want to send them both to their rooms without supper. I don’t like always feeling nostalgic or wistful. It’s time-consuming and can be depressing. I’ve had the fight going on in my brain for years now, launched when we first started talking about the possibility of selling the biz. The idea seemed surreal. How could we consider giving up the family business? The newspaper and print shop? The very sustaining entity of all our lives through five generations? But, at exactly the same time, we were stumped as to how we could continue to run it. The newspaper and print shop world is dying. Its time is passing. A family-owned newspaper, printed inhouse, is nearly extinct. As I have noted before in this blog, printers are going the way of the blacksmiths, wheelwrights, and milliners, among others. Technology charges along and takes no prisoners. What is left are the lovers of the past, the artisans, and the nostalgic. Of course there is merit in preserving history in some ways, and I am in great support of those who love to engage in the art and revel in the process. But to maintain such a workplace on a regular basis became defeating and illogical. Such is life.

At the printers’ fair, people would walk by our booth and catch a glimpse of our old fonts or line gauges or Linotype instruction books. They would stop then and linger over the stuff, saying things like “wow” or “I haven’t seen one of these since college” or “what the heck is this?” But then they would go on. John and I soon learned that if we started talking to them about our family history with the paper and print shop, their faces would change. They would light up, make eye contact, and really listen. It seems our family history is fairly interesting — to some, even fascinating. Having grown up in the family, I find it difficult to understand the fascination, honestly. It has always been part of my life, and my siblings can all say the same. But I was truly struck by the reactions and the engagement of these random people as we chatted about it. And it helped me to remove myself a little bit from what has always been, and to see it from a new place. The fact that a young man (Benjamin Hinkle Sincell/Ben/B.H.) bought a business in 1890 and his family kept it going through 2017 is pretty unique.

To make it more fascinating, we have a vast plethora of written words that record all of it. Ben wrote an editorial every week, and put the pages together completely on his own for years. So all those newspapers from 1890 on through the late 19th century are by his young hand alone. To augment this recorded history, we are also fortunate enough to have letters that he was writing at the time to his love, Lillian “Tay” Byrne Morris, who would later become his wife. But when he was a lowly newspaper editor and printer, she was of a more elite West Virginia family. She was trained in painting and enjoyed a rather comfortable existence. Her parents, especially her mother, were not keen on this inky fellow from across the tracks and state line. He was not up to their standards, and the marriage of the two would be put off for years. His letters are full of pleas and urging of Tay to marry him, along with proof that his printing business is gaining ground, professing at one point to be “in the office in my shirt sleeves, with more work than I know what to do with.” The letters provide a most beautiful setting for those early years, adding a deeply human component to the history being pressed out each week in Ben’s newspaper.

Tay and Ben Sincell

Removing myself from the lifelong experience of being a member of the family as well as a worker at the business, I do see that it is rich — this family business history that was born with these two young people, in love but being kept apart, at least for a while. At last she was free to marry him, by the way, and they did so in 1895. They went on to have five children. And that is when the first tendrils of family involvement uncurled and began to take root. I don’t know for sure if the five kids worked much at the office when they were young. I hope to somehow find out about that. But I imagine that there were days when B.H. might have needed his kids there. Sometimes work just piles up, and able hands are required. I grew up with that knowledge, spending many evenings at the shop stuffing papers (putting a section inside another section) or doing some repetitive task in what we called the “job shop,” which was where the commercial printing was processed. There we would collate booklets or run the stapler machine or help jog (shake together to straighten) piles of papers. Surely there were days when B.H. said, “I’ll need some help today at the shop.” And the kids would go. That’s how it was done, on through the years. My own sons grew up doing the same, in fact.

Ben and Tay’s children matured and went on their own ways. One daughter, Mary, died in her early 20s, of what ailment we are not certain, although she was apparently “sickly” most of her life. Of the remaining four, one did stay to work at the newspaper. That was my grandfather, Donald “Mose” Sincell. According to some family folks, Mose originally had designs on becoming a Lutheran pastor, and even enrolled at Gettsyburg College. But there was pressure to remain in Oakland, made more weighty when B.H. had some health issues. How would they get the paper out if B.H. could not? So Mose became a pressman. This is the point when I feel a pang of wistfulness. Did Mose sacrifice his calling to stay at the family business? Such a question crops up through the ages, for sure. My husband is always quick to note that in the early 20th century, people didn’t necessarily strive to work at a job that “fulfilled” them. People worked to survive. And if there was a job available, a person would step into it without considering whether or not it was the proper color of his soul’s parachute. And if the business owned by a father was in need of help, the offspring were the first to be called in. So Mose went, and he stayed for the rest of his life.

From left are Frances Richardson (niece to BH and Tay), Mary Sincell, Tay with baby Lillian Sincell, Mose Sincell seated, and Morris Sincell behind him. Photo taken in Mountain Lake Park, circa 1904.

I have quite vivid memories of seeking him out in the job shop, where inevitably he would be standing at the Heidelberg press running some print job. He would smile and greet me kindly every time. I knew if I stood there for just a little while, he would dig in his front pocket and jangle the change, and then produce a quarter for me. Understand that a quarter was a lot in the late ‘60s. I could go downstairs to Proudfoot’s Pharmacy and buy a whole little bag of candy and gum with that. Sometimes he would give me two quarters. I’m sure his donations went toward my first foray into buying Christmas gifts when I was about 5. I gave all my brothers and my dad new combs — each in its own little case — and to my mom and sister, I gave tiny bottles of perfume, everything purchased at the Ben Franklin 5 and 10. I felt very greathearted that year. I probably should’ve given something to my grandfather, yet I don’t think I did… but now I’ve digressed.

Mose and Bob running the press, circa 1950s.

Another sibling, my Aunt “Tink,” came to the newspaper, too. Her real name was Adeline. She was the baby, born in 1910. Mose was about 11 years her elder, so he had been at the office a long while when she came to proofread sometime in the early 1960s. And actually she was officially brought in to “hold copy” for yet another relative, my grandmother Elsie Hanst Sincell, Mose’s wife. My grandmother worked in the front office, accepting classified advertising, answering the phone, and proofreading. Her brother, George Hanst, came to the office as well, making the leadership of the newspaper shared among two families, yet the ownership remained purely Sincell. George served diligently as the associate editor until B.H’s death, and then was the editor in chief until 1977. So the family connections became rather complicated. B.H. was the founder, his son Mose was his successor. Mose’s wife Elsie’s brother was brought in as an editor. Elsie was always a bit adamant that all understood Tink was “just holding copy.” The tensions of an intertwined family business are hard to describe, but it suffices to note that competition is always there, lying in wait and coming out through some passivity as well as some overt aggression, depending on the moment. Working together with the same people with whom you gather for holidays, see at church, rely on in trouble, celebrate in joy, or grieve can make for some deep challenges and stress.

Tink’s husband, Bob Ruckert, worked there, too. He was a veteran of World War II and was working at the front desk of the Algonquin Hotel in Cumberland when he and Tink were first married. Tink asked her father to hire Bob, and soon he was on the staff. The family sent him off to learn how to run a Linotype. He then served as the company’s instructor of that complicated machine, eventually teaching my mom how to run it. (He told her that she learned it more quickly than he had ever seen, by the way. Mom is always so self-deprecating, claiming all the time that she’s not creative or smart, but her life accomplishments consistently say otherwise.)

George Hanst’s wife, Polly Johnson Hanst (married in 1931), contributed to the newspaper as well. She wrote a column titled “It Runs through My Mind.” It was about family, farming, 4-H, and life in general. Often she was clever and funny, as was George. I think sometimes how they must have had fun together. He was quiet and reserved, but witty. She was a huge personality in a tiny body, and she did love a good laugh. Together they influenced the direction of the newspaper quite a lot, especially in those earlier days. But there was always tension. B.H. maintained ownership of the company even as other family members joined in. The pay was adequate, just. I would never call the business “high-income.” I don’t think anyone in the family would. I believe there was a definite lack of frank discussion about pay and ownership and other touchy issues, which led to resentment, or at least some disappointment. The work was hard. Any dedicated staff member over the years would agree. It could be tedious and exacting, and it was definitely deadline-driven. Every single week. Every year. Every decade.

After World War II, my dad, Robert Sincell, took his place there, too. And another pang arises. Did Dad want to be there? In letters that he wrote to his parents during the war, his outlook changed over time. When he was first away, the world seemed thrilling and new and wide open. After three years of service, which was not in combat but on the outer edges of it, also tedious as well as lonely, he was ready to come back to the mountaintop. He missed the place that was in his dreams. Home. He missed his family, he missed the land, and the lure of the office was always there. He would go on to get his degree in journalism from West Virginia University, with an emphasis in advertising. And then he joined the family biz, bringing my mom along. B.H. died in 1947, so the business then fell mostly on the shoulders of George, Dad, and Mose, although Tay maintained some influence, as did Polly. The women of my clan were not submissive, for which I am ever grateful.

We in my family have often talked about Dad’s interest in medicine. He was fascinated with the human body and how it worked. Perhaps more importantly, he grew passionate about emergency medical care and went on to become a National Ski Patrol instructor, and later still co-founded the Garrett County rescue squads. He was the first emergency medical technician instructor in the county, training people for service in both the south and north. He was brilliant at it, frankly. So on the one hand, I have wondered if he might have led a different sort of life if the family business were not a component early on. On the other hand, perhaps he found sufficient joy in the emergency care while remaining loyal to his grandfather et al. The question is simply unanswerable, but one can certainly see the pull of a family organization for a young man willing to serve and wishing to be of aid. A well-trod path that lies smack dab in front of a young person’s feet is hard to resist when the world is pressuring him to choose. In the end, he was content with his career. Proud, even. As he should’ve been.

Dad (Bob Sincell) posing somewhat coyly next to a page form. I think this photo was used in a special 75th anniversary issue of the paper.

As time went on, our mother began her stint at the office, running the Linotype first and later the Compugraphic typsetters and the confounding “headliner” machine, which did not show you what you were typing but just spat out expensive film with your headlines on it, misspelled or not. My brother Ben learned how to operate the Linotype, as did Don. They all worked over summers or during busy times. Ben took on some of the paperwork of the business, too, helping out with that for years. Don worked as a photographer. Then in 1977, he stepped in to take over George’s position as editor. Don had earned his bachelor’s degree in psychology, though… And I earned mine in theatre arts, as did my husband, who also became a nearly 30-year staff member and officer of the company. I don’t think anyone would peg any of us for lifetime newspaper people. But that’s where we ended up. Did we pursue what we would’ve or should’ve? I can’t answer that. But I can attest to the fact that the pull of a family biz is firm.

As for me, I certainly did not predict my longevity at the paper. I joined in 1990, having moved back home after some years in North Carolina. John and I had married in 1989, and while he was content to stay in Chapel Hill, I was desperately homesick. I missed cool weather, I missed my parents, I missed living on top of mountains rather than down in the Piedmont. I wanted to have a baby, and the thought of doing that without my mother nearby was daunting. I wrenched us both out of N.C. and back to Maryland, where a writer in the newsroom had just quit. I decided to grab up that position “for the time being.” My plan was perhaps to go back to school and get a master’s degree so I could teach… And John came with me, of course, but without a job. However, the ad manager had also just given notice, so John went there. For a while. Then he took over my mom’s position as a typesetter and ad designer. When the photographer left, John moved into that role. I stayed in the newsroom throughout, writing thousands and thousands of articles and stories over the years. Ben’s wife Bev Sincell was a longtime staffer in the newsroom some 30 years ago. Our nieces Angie and Rachel both joined the company as well, and nephews Adam and Matthew worked stints, too, making it a truly five-generation biz. My boys put in many hours over the years. All of us, lifting that mantle.

What if there had been no family business? What paths would we have taken up in the end? There is little point to pondering such a question, especially since our work was not unimportant. We made differences in our community, and we worked hard to be of service. All of us. That was a key component of shouldering the mantle. But a family business does present a host of issues, some good and some bad. One can get swept into the current without planning to stay in the river, but getting back out can be a real challenge. John and I proceeded to have three sons in four years. We were therefore ensconced in our work, because the boys had to come first. We were tasked with providing for these kids we opted to have. The endeavor of finding other comparable work in this area was too much. Our lives were full and busy, with some lovely elbow room in our own company that allowed us to be with the boys more than we might have been in other work, but also with the ongoing responsibility of always being connected, 100% of the time, even on vacations or when sick. The task of producing a weekly newspaper is a compact, intense project, which we achieved every seven days. In the later years, the leadership of the newspaper was on Don, John, and me. All staff issues, health insurance challenges, equipment problems, building questions — all of it was our responsibility, combined with getting the paper out and keeping the job shop in business. Desktop publishing took a huge bite out of the commercial business, and printing our own paper with all our own equipment was growing more challenging by the day. The time came to sell. And we did it.

All those roots, grown deep and intertwined over more than 100 years, are now being pulled apart, gently but firmly. A family business has so many branches and tendrils, and the entire “plant” is symbiotic. The work provides some identity to those who do it, as well as those who are connected by family ties. I knew about “paper day” and the “office” and all of it from the very beginning of my life, as did my siblings, as did my cousins, as did my dad, as did my grandfather. In all those roots that grew and split off and twisted about, there were many that caused trouble. Tensions at work easily spilled over at home since everyone was connected. Family get-togethers could be tiresome after working all week with the same folks. Disagreements on how things should be run, who is in charge, who gets the credit, who should be hired and who should be let go, how company money should be spent — on and on — can all taint the family unit in ways that non-business folks often don’t realize. A tribe has to be sturdy to survive a company run by its members. We have certainly had our fallings-out over the years. And there are scars. But as we finally finish this chapter in the Sincell family history book, I think we can do it with confidence — confidence that the decision to move on is an acceptable one, and confidence that the entire journey represents, on the whole, work well done.

The loosing of the company tether has been a journey. For a long time, I felt like a balloon that had been let go, floating who knows where. My whole life, like my relatives, had in part been defined by the newspaper and the company. Now we are set free from it. We are set free from that exacting weekly deadline. We are free from having to pay attention and be alert to every county event or breaking news. We can slip in and out of a public meeting without saying anything, asking a single question, or writing even one word about it. We also have the new and welcome opportunity of looking forward to seeing one another. I miss my brother now. We worked next to each other through thick and thin, with dedication. We were together every day, often in tense circumstances. I never really had the occasion to miss him. But now we have moved on, and it is fun to see each other and catch up on things we used to talk about regularly. And my husband has a new job. In the mornings, he goes off to work, and I don’t go with him. I don’t know every nuance and event of his day since I am not there. He gets to tell me these things. What fun! We have worked together for almost our entire relationship, starting with Domino’s Pizza in North Carolina, then nearly 30 years at Sincell Publishing. The experience of having our own time and our own adventures is rejuvenating.

There are other families in Garrett County who have maintained businesses for a long time and then moved on. The Beachys and Fikes, the Shirers and Callises, the Brownings, the Stucks, and more. I’m sure all of us could have long talks about the unique odysseys of family-owned companies. I’m sure they, too, have had the occasional former customer ruefully complain, “Why did you give up the company? We miss it!” We get that sometimes, and I always feel a little wistful, and a little guilty. I know some people miss our brand of newspaper and the service it provided to our community, and I’m sorry about it. But to everything there is a season.

When I am sitting alone in the office, examining the tools and belongings bought at some point by someone in my family to help improve the business, I imagine the folks being there with me. I can feel the connection, and if we could speak, we would revel in our similar life stories, bound together so deeply by this endeavor, and by our strong family ties. We would agree that a business does not have to be the definition of a family, but we can be grateful that it lasted 130 years, employed hundreds of people, gained respect for its integrity and constancy, and operated full-steam ahead for such a long time. To those who work in a family business, I offer you my hand in solidarity and understanding. We should go get a beer and chat. We’d have a lot to talk about. And to my forebears, I offer my gratitude. Thank you for founding the business, for instilling in us the value of hard work, and for providing many of us with good, meaningful careers. It has been such an adventure.

Column Redux 3

Welcome to my third installation of columns written over the past year. Come celebrate coffee, make apple butter, and grab fast onto some family ties. Thanks for being here, and thanks for reading.

Java Jive
Sept. 28, 2017

Sometimes in the quiet of a solitary day, I might surf TV channels to see just what I can waste time watching. Years ago I remember coming upon an old sci-fi thriller. I don’t know what it was, or who was in it, or even how things turned out. But what I found fascinating, and what made me stop changing channels, was that 1.) The world was apparently going to end, and 2.) There was a lady in a pillbox hat serving coffee to everyone.

The characters were all in some underground bunker, all aware that the world had but a few hours left to spin. And this woman — in her tidy blue skirt and matching jacket and hat — had a tray of coffee cups, which she carried from man to man. And each man took one, as if it were any other day, having their coffee before being obliterated. That image has stuck with me for years. And I always thought — I should write about that someday. Apparently the day has arrived.

What impressed me was that coffee was still relevant, even as the planet was circling the drain. Handing it out gave the lady a task. Maybe it kept her mind off her approaching demise. And the guys grabbing it off her tray — perhaps they were satisfied for a moment, too, and able to redirect their panic. Yeah, it was just a movie. But coffee … it’s life.

The fragrance of coffee never disappoints. The rich, soul-touching scent is like no other. I can be distracted by that scent like a cat following a mackerel. Coffee is home to me. My mother is a coffee hound, with her own coffee bean grinder and her theories of how best to do it and how best to store the beans. My sister has roasted her own raw beans, and she uses a coffee press to create an intense, dark cup, with frothed milk on top. My three brothers all drink it — rich, dark, and daily. Like my mother, I have loved the flavor my whole life. She remembers well how her mom would allow her to have half a cup, with the other half milk. Used to be that little kids weren’t supposed to have that, but her mother loved it, too, and empathized enough to give her 10-year-old a little java now and again.

I begged for it early on, usually asking my dad for a sip of his, since he used milk and sugar. When I was really little, I insisted that he wait to add the milk until I could get in a good position to watch the white ribbon swirl into the black. I loved how it turned it to such a creamy color. In college, I would get coffee from a machine at the WVU Creative Arts Center. It was its own kind of horrible, but grabbing a cup before sitting through theater history (four semesters’ worth) was simply vital nonetheless. In my apartment there, I actually used Folger’s instant coffee, which today would make me scoff but then was quite sufficient. I looked forward to opening a new jar, as I think the scent would release a whole pile of endorphins for me, somehow.

Yes, coffee has always been good, except in two situations. One was when I was an antsy kid, ready to vamoose from a restaurant after a meal but then hearing my parents order two cups of coffee to mull over and talk more! Ugh! A prison of pure boredom. The second was when I was with child, and coffee was suddenly disgusting. How I could have such a falling out with my lifelong friend, I didn’t know, but it flat-out made me retch for a few months. Tea was a sad stand-in during that time. I was always relieved when we made up, a few months in. Since then, I have preferred coffee without any additives at all. Black is the best.

Two of my three sons drink it, often to the extreme, and my husband, too. If we are all home, and the fragrance wafts up from the kitchen, the comfort is real. All my life it has meant family, home, and a new day. I hope those poor people in the thriller got to have a new day, too. With more coffee.

Apples and Flames
Oct. 12, 2017

This past weekend I was transported back to years past through an activity that has been part of my life, and my family’s, for decades. Maybe a century. The event lasts about 30 hours from start to finish, and we end up with something to share and have for quite some time. But the having is not as key as the making.

We started with 14 bushels of apples — Jonagold and Golden Delicious — and we ended with about 35 gallons of apple butter. Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? But the process is arduous and such great fun at the same time, and a tradition, which as always has its own charm. From start to finish, we had 62 people lend their help.

We gather to peel and core the apples first, although my mom and I missed that part, as we made our trek to Romney, W.Va. — the home of my cousins where the event took place — a little too late Saturday to make the coring party. I was a little disappointed, honestly, but if I had made it and started in on the 14 bushels from the beginning, chances are high I’d soon be wishing I had missed it. The apples make your fingers turn brown, but only after you wash them. And the brown stays for few days.

Everyone gathers, bringing food and stories. Sometimes we bring friends to experience our tradition with us. And then we commence to arguing, which is a vital part of the process. When should we put the kettles on? Who is staying up? Who is getting up for the next shift? On and on it goes, as it did Saturday, when we finally arrived at starting the kettles around 12:30 a.m., and the crews would shift around 3 or 4 or so.

Making apple butter is fairly common here on the mountaintop. Lots of families and churches do it, and everyone has their own rules and stipulations. Our family certainly does. There are so many regulations to be followed and/or shouted out during the 30-hour process. “Don’t leave any toenails in the apples!” Translated: Get the seeds and hulls out. “Don’t let the wood touch the kettle!” Indeed, a hot ember can melt through a copper kettle, or so we have all imagined with great trepidation. “Keep stirring!” Good heavens, yes, don’t ever stop, even for a second. “Figure eight is best,” says one brother. “Nah, you gotta go back and forth along the whole bottom, and then back,” says the other. “You’re dumb,” says the third.

So we add apples and some water and we keep stirring, with the fires built to the exact height necessary to keep the stuff hot, but not so hot it boils over. Stir, stir, stir; and chat, joke, laugh, and reminisce. As a kid, the act of being up in the middle of the night, outside, with the fires burning and the smoke swirling, is nothing short of magical. The stars were bright, and the air was warmer than usual. My great-niece Lydia, who is 10, was a trooper, up at 2 a.m. and learning how to stir. She loves it now, too.

My brother Ben is at left, and brother Don is at right, I’m sure arguing about how to stir properly. Lydia is there, too. This was in the wee hours of the morning, probably around 2.

As the day woke up and wore on, we stirred and stirred, and then we had to add sugar, and at the end, cloves and cinnamon. Those acts are always tense, as we don’t want to ruin the stuff we’ve stirred all night. There is tasting, contemplating, opining, arguing, and more of the same, until some satisfaction is reached, and only one or two are left shaking their heads a little and grumbling “too much cinnamon….” or “not enough sugar….” Stories of past mishaps are always shared, like when my cousin Gene was little and dropped the entire bottle of cloves into the kettle. Yikes!

Since nostalgia is my constant companion, I drifted back so many times to the days with my dad, who taught me how to stir by standing behind me and guiding my hands, and my Aunt Susan Williams, at whose house we usually gathered for the event, who would make fresh rolls for us to use in wiping out the empty kettle late in the day. So many more dreams of days past; so much love for those no longer here. But the present was kind, too, and the apple butter is delicious. Every taste of the sweet and smoky flavor takes me back to my reunion with my siblings and cousins last weekend, and it will always do so. Until next time, everyone.

An Enduring Cord
Oct. 29, 2017

Members of my dad’s side of the family met over the weekend to say a final goodbye to a beloved married-in, Tom Brown, the late husband of my dear cousin Jane Hanst Brown. Tom was diagnosed with cancer in the early spring of 2015 and was gone by that summer. It was a devastating loss, and it took Jane some time to finally bury his ashes. She and Tom were so happy together, having married later in life and jumped into love with all four feet. They had 16 contented years together, and then it seemed that he just disappeared. Life is so very unpredictable. We think we know what’s around the bend, but we sure don’t.

So having been forced into one of those gatherings that was never predicted, we cousins stood solemnly in the Kingwood Cemetery on Saturday as words were spoken of Tom’s kindness, sense of humor, and love of family. We stood on ground where we have stood before to say goodbye. Jane’s parents, George and Polly (Johnson) Hanst — my grand-uncle and grand-aunt — are buried there, too. Uncle George was the editor of The Republican newspaper for decades, from the 1940s until the 1970s. Aunt Polly wrote columns for the paper, too. So there we stood, with all that family around us, both under the earth and on it. I know many people don’t know where their families are. They have lost track, or have never even been on any track, with connections lost in hazy memories. But I was standing there with mine all around. And then some of us walked through that cemetery, finding the headstones of our great-great-grandparents (David Young Morris and Mary Eleanore Morris), and then our great-great-great-grandfather Charles Byrne (I think), all buried there. There is a spire for one beloved woman, Addie, the sister of my great-grandmother, who died at the age of 26 and shattered so many hearts. We have letters written by “Tay,” my great-grandmother, to B.H. (Sincell), great-grandfather, in which she tells him of how her sister is “very ill again.” So Addie wasn’t well most of her life, apparently, and only lasted until her 27th year. Her tombstone is tall, with what looks like a blanket carved into the stone, and a branch of strawberries. Born Aug. 9, 1869; Died Apr. 28, 1895.

Standing on that ground, I knew that my great-great-grandparents stood there, too, bereft, so long ago. And then their children said goodbye to them there, on that same spot. Strange traditions we human beings have. But somehow comforting all the same.

After we bade Tom farewell on Saturday, we gathered at a big Deep Creek area house my cousins had rented for the weekend. There we remembered how funny we are, and we laughed a lot. The place was abuzz with kids running around, the WVU football game blaring, people preparing food while shouting conversations over their shoulders, and so much laughing. The place was alive. Awake and breathing, heart beating. We looked again into those faces we have always known, and listened to those voices again, and the familiarity was a comfort and a saving grace. There was joy and such warmth. And so it goes.

I like to imagine that those of us who love one another, family or friends, are bound by an unseen fiber… a band of some sort… connecting us all, even as we fall through the cracks of the world, or take unwise turns, or when our footing is shaken by one of the countless outside forces of this random universe. That band stretches and twists, adjusts and holds — always tethering us together, no matter what the outside pressure may be. Even through death. And we come together again, and there is cheer, and there is peace.

Blessed be the ties that bind.

Column Redux 2

What follows are three columns I wrote for the Garrett County Republican at various times during 2017. For the love of a tree, the honor of my father, and the celebration of singing — read on.

Ode to an old friend
Aug. 31, 2017

A great tree grows in my mother’s yard in Mountain Lake Park. It’s a hemlock with long sweeping branches and thousands of plumb-bob-shaped pine cones the size of TicTacs. The pine looks tired, leaning slightly with limbs askew. A hole has opened in its trunk, about five feet up from the ground, and inside is a lively world of insects. Ants file in and out, bringing sawdust with them, or moving their offspring from one level to another. Smaller holes created by birds’ beaks encircle the larger opening. Great piles of sawdust lie around the base, and it’s obvious that the dear old tree is dying. But life is flourishing inside and around it, and its history is rich.

When I was a little kid, the tree was a destination. While it is really just about 25 feet from the back door of Mom’s house, the distance seemed much greater when I was three feet tall. The real draw was the playhouse that Dad had placed at the foot of the hemlock. A press was delivered to the newspaper office sometime in the early 1960s. Dad unpacked it and brought the crate home. He cut a door and a window, and then built a pitched roof and covered it with a rough reddish material to keep the rain out. He placed a flat, flagstone rock at the entrance. I like thinking about Dad doing that, when he was 30-something, seeing a simple crate and thinking, “I could make that into a playhouse for the kids.” And then actually doing it.

We played in that house so much. I remember using a toy broom to sweep hemlock needles out — a futile effort, as the half-inch spears were absolutely everywhere, creating a carpet on the ground and filling the air with that sap scent. For a long time, we had a little table and two chairs inside at the window, and a wooden box in the other corner. When I read the Boxcar Children series, I imagined living in the playhouse like those children in their train car — just one reverie that little house inspired.

Close to the playhouse was a rope swing. It hung down from what seemed an impossibly high branch of an oak. The seat was a board with notches cut out on either end. We would just slide it onto the looped rope, and then hop on. When it rained, the rope would shrink. That made the seat high, and I would have to jump to get onto it. And then my sister Kathryn or one of our many neighbors might spin me, twisting the rope all the way up to the branch, and then let me go. Around and around I would fly, faster and faster, my feet out, my hair wild. When it released from the twist, it would go the other way, and we liked to see just how far we could get it to twist itself back. I don’t know how we avoided nausea, but we did.

Being the youngest of the family, I ended up playing on my own after everyone else had outgrown the playhouse and swing. My cat, a Siamese that Dad miraculously produced from under his raincoat on my 7th birthday, was my pal then. Sahib. He loved the playhouse, and we often engaged in a game of “chase me around the corner.” He would lie in wait as I crept around, and then he would tear into a run, either away from me or straight to me, or right up the hemlock — whatever his cat brain told him at that split second. Such fun!

I walked around the hemlock last Friday, and I smelled the pine and gazed at the places where we played under those boughs in the always-muted sunlight. In my mind, I went inside the long-gone playhouse, and let my memories of it wake up and stretch. I love that tree, and all that went on in and around it. Here’s to you, old hemlock. Thanks for everything.

The dear old hemlock.

Bob Sincell
Nov. 9, 2017

My dad died in 2003. I really do think of him every day, as I am certain others do of their own parents who have gone on. There is a picture of him on the wall across from my desk at work. I can look up and see his face at any moment of the day, and I do it a lot. The passage of time does ease the immediate grip of grief, but, as we all know, there is no “getting over” a loss. We learn to live with the absence, and our ever-mending souls adapt. Life is full of joys and fun, and I’m positive that Dad wouldn’t want any of us to linger on the wistful longing that comes in waves sometimes. Then it recedes, like the surf.

Robert B. Sincell Sr. was a veteran of the United States Navy. He was sitting in his tree house Dec. 7, 1941, listening to a radio he had rigged up there. He heard the breaking news about a place called Pearl Harbor. From that moment, at age 15, he was determined to join the fight. He begged his parents to let him go at age 17, and, with great dread, they did. I cannot imagine what my grandparents felt. But they knew he was determined to go and would not rest until they signed on that line. As a mother of three boys, I’m not sure I could have done that.

But he went, willingly, offering himself up as an able, intelligent, patriotic young man. And his experiences, in the end, were mostly safe. He endured dreadfully boring stretches of time, punctuated here and there with heart-stopping moments, like when a bee stung his elbow as he walked along a trail on Tinian, a Pacific Island, and when he looked down, his foot was an inch from a bomb trip wire. Or when he heard or saw the occasional crash-landing of his friends’ planes at the airstrip. Or when he learned of his company’s near demise in the Philippines, which he missed because of a sudden onslaught of “cat fever,” a respiratory illness that rendered him deathly ill. He felt guilt about that, I think for the rest of his life. However, those of us who loved him felt gratitude. It seemed he was meant to survive. And I believe he knew that, too, as when he came home, he offered himself up as a hard-working, dedicated member of the Garrett County community.

Dad was one of the co-founders of the area’s rescue squads. He was the first National Ski Patrol instructor in Garrett County. He was the first Emergency Medical Technician instructor, too. He was a Sunday school teacher and an active singer in choir and in the Garrett Choral Society. He married my mother, one of his best acts, and they had us, my four siblings and me. They kept us safe, they fed us, they made us laugh, they showed us the world. They reared us with the understanding that we could always, always come home. The door stood open, no matter what. It still does.

My father was a gentle and kind human being. He trained squirrels to take crackers out of his hand, and he routinely saved little animals that had fallen in our pool. He adored slapstick comedy, and M.A.S.H. He taught us that if you can take a spider or a bat out of your house without killing it, for heaven’s sake, do it! You don’t have to kill something just because you can. Being the youngest, I think I might’ve been extra fortunate, as he had time to talk with me. We would watch the news together and then chat. And I learned so much. He was, I believe, a dove. A gentle, sensitive, deeply intelligent human being. He was shy about his service in WWII because he felt he had it easy for the most part, always saying that “other guys” were the real heros. I disagree. He was a hero to me, and still is.

As we commemorate our veterans this weekend, I will think of my dad. I believe that for him, and for millions of others, the very best thing we can do to remember and honor them would be to stop warring. War isn’t romantic. It’s horrible. We absolutely must evolve to the place where violence is no longer a recourse, so that all people have the chance to live life fully, without fear, without injury. That is what I wish for all vets, and for the world.

Robert Benjamin Sincell, pictured in Hawaii during World War II. He was 19 or 20 years old in this picture. I love him so. I wish I could hear his voice again. But in his face, I see my siblings, my sons, my nephews and nieces… all.

Let the harmony commence
Sept. 21, 2017

With the shifting of summer to fall comes another special interval for some of us — singing season! The Garrett Choral Society rehearsals have started, and our church, St. Mark’s Lutheran, has started choir practices, too. After a summer break, the singing always resumes around now, and being back at making music with friends is lovely.

Singing has been part of my life since before I was born. My parents first met as members of the Potomac State Singers. At a practice, Dad came through a back door a little late. A young woman named Shirley Grubb leaned over to my mom and said, “That bass Bob Sincell has the prettiest brown eyes I’ve ever seen,” with which my mom had to agree. (Altos are always leaning over to one another with intriguing news like that, by the way. That’s just what we do. Choir directors love it.) Soon my dad had noticed the pretty blue-eyed second-soprano from Springfield, W.Va., too, and asked her if she’d like a ride home. She declined, as she was perfectly able to walk. But eventually they did go out, and they did sing together for the rest of their union. Some of my earliest memories are of resting on my mom’s lap, my head against her chest, listening to her sing. My ear would be right against her, and the sound was close and muffled, familiar, and most comforting.

Singing was a thing we did in our house. Harmonizing and having fun with the piano was a fairly regular occurrence. My sister and I took piano lessons for years, so there was a lot of practicing (and fussing about practicing). That many years on the piano bench — plus another several playing saxophone — taught me how to be a pretty good sight-reader of music, which helps a lot in choral singing. When singing with others, sight-reading through a piece for the first time is a fun challenge. Well, sometimes it’s fun. Other times it’s annoying and/or daunting. But after going through a piece once, I’m always amazed at how much easier it is just the second time.

Rehearsals to me are much more fun than any performance. Working out the music with the four usual parts (soprano, alto, tenor, and bass) is similar to figuring out a crossword puzzle. “This goes here, this goes here…uh…. this goes here — Oh! Cool!” And that’s how a line of music comes together. On and on we go, working through a piece, discussing key changes, tempos, and how hard it is to sing fourths sometimes.

Those in the various sections tend to have similar characteristics. Sopranos behave and follow directions, altos already know the directions and are happy to repeat them drenched in sarcasm, tenors adamantly want to go over the directions again please, and basses… oh, basses. They ask, after the concert, “What directions?”

I jest. Sort of. In all, we have fun as we make music in this most unique fashion. I don’t think any other animal does what we do with vocal sounds. Throw in a great composer, some excellent directors, some regular rehearsal and you come out with a pleasing work of art.

After months of practice, singers form friendships, especially those who sit together. My decades-long church choir mate has been my sister-in-law, Suzie Sincell. We take breaths at exactly the same time now, no matter how hard we try to stagger our gulps. We rely on one another to help find the notes and learn the part together, and to keep our inside jokes alive and well. In choral society, my partners in chime (yeah, I did that) are Heather Roth and Karen Winkelvoss, without whom I simply can’t sing as well. Ah, I’m glad we’re back. Let’s sing some fourths, girls — with confidence!

Through all the tumult and the strife,

I hear that music ringing.

It finds an echo in my soul.

How can I keep from singing?